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The Trip From Hell
(or How I survived for
31 hours in a car with my wife, son and 5 dogs without losing
my mind)
AS YOU MIGHT BE aware, I used to live in Covington, LA, just across Lake Pontchartrian from New Orleans. On August 29, 2005 Hurricane Katrina devastated Southeast Louisiana and Southern Mississippi. My house survived, but my job did not. I work in Economic Development - that is, it is my job to help attract and keep jobs in the area I serve. The outfit I worked for lost most of its financial support; therefore I had to find work elsewhere. I applied for jobs in Texas, Arizona, Colorado, Georgia, Florida, Illinois, Nevada, New Mexico, Wyoming and Wisconsin.
At about the same
time, Washington County, WI - just northwest of Milwaukee - was
starting a new Economic Development Organization and need someone
to run it. They decided, after interviewing me, that they need
a loud-mouthed Cajun to shake things up and bring new job opportunities
to Southeast Wisconsin. They offered the job to me in late January
of 2006, with my first day on the job April 17.
I moved to West
Bend, WI on April 14, 2006, into a house my wife, the lovely
and talented Barbara, bought over a long weekend a month before.
(I never saw it - that's another story.) She flew back after
a few days to settle the house in Louisiana.
I flew back to Louisiana
on June 2 to help with the final preparations. We spent the next
few days packing, painting and prepping for the move and to sell
the house. Fortunately, Louisiana is a Seller's market - any
house that survived the storm is very desirable. On Monday, June
5 the moving van showed up and packed up our house.
The plan was to
leave early the next morning and drive the 1,060 miles to West
Bend in one shot - it should have taken 15 hours. In our 1999
Honda Odyssey van - with 128,000 miles on it - we had me, my
wife, my 18 year-old son Sean (who just finished high school),
and our dogs. We own two (2) Doberman Pincers, a retired racing
Greyhound, and two (2) Chinese Pugs. (I know - I married Ellie
Mae Clampett.) Behind we would haul a U-Haul trailer with the
dog crates and other assorted boxes.
After supervising
the packing of the moving van, we were exhausted and I realized
we could not leave at 4:30 AM on Tuesday morning. We decided
to instead take off at 9:00 PM Tuesday night. I figured that
traffic would be very light.
So, at about 9:30
PM on Tuesday, June 6, we pulled out of Louisiana for the last
time. Barbara, Sean and the dogs went right to sleep - as planned.
90 minutes later,
I was cruising through Mississippi, just passing Brookhaven (30
minutes south of Jackson), doing the speed limit (70 MPH) and
thinking I could reach Memphis, TN before giving up the wheel
to my son, when the RPM gauge went nuts. I looked out my side-view
mirrors to see smoke coming out of the bottom of my van. I knew
I was in BIG trouble.
By some miracle,
I was next to a Rest Stop on I-55. I was able to coast into the
place. My lack of ability to accelerate told me that the transmission
on the van was gone. The Rest Stop was divided into two parts:
trucks and cars. I was able to enter the place, but I ran out
of momentum about half-way up the lane to the car parking lot.
I was stuck; 11:30 PM on a Tuesday night in Mississippi - and
the moving van was supposed to be in West Bend on Thursday!
This was the second
time we have had trouble on this stretch of road. Back in April,
the car dolly I was towing behind the rental truck on my first
drive to Wisconsin blew a tire, scratching up the paint on my
brand-new Mercury Milan. The morons at the rental place had the
tires over-inflated. 90 minutes later, a roadside repair crew
changed the tire, adjusted the pressure in the other one, and
sent us on our way. Was I cursed? Did Brookhaven have it in for
us?
The guard of the
Rest Stop (Mississippi offers 24-security) looked like Carlton
from South Park and was about as helpful. Tow truck operators
had no idea where to tow me. At about 2:00 AM a large pick-up
truck came by and towed me out of the lane to an area where I
wasn't blocking everybody. So we all just slept as best we could,
waiting for the morning.
Early Wednesday
morning we contacted a Honda dealership in Brookhaven, MS, who
said they would send out a tow truck and a vehicle to pick up
my family, dogs and trailer. Meanwhile, our options were fading
fast:
Enterprise Rent-a-car
said they could pick us up, BUT company rules prohibited any
Enterprise vehicle from towing anything. So what do I do with
my trailer?
U-Haul said I could
trade-in the trailer for a U-Haul truck, BUT they could not pick
us up, we could not haul the dogs in back of the truck - and
there weren't any trucks in Brookhaven, anyway.
No other car rental
place would pick us up.
A new transmission
would cost at least $2,000 - on a car that in perfect condition
might be worth $5,000; and this car was not in perfect condition.
And the earliest they could work on the van was Monday.
I was thinking all
this over in the 2006 used GMC Envoy short-bed SUV the dealership
sent to retrieve us when the beautiful and wise Barbara said
from the back seat, "Does this thing have a CD player?"
"Sure does,"
said the dealership courtesy driver.
"And can it
tow anything?"
"Oh, yes, ma'am!
With the V-6 and towing package this thing has, it can tow 5,000
pounds to the moon and back!"
Barbara gave me
a raised eyebrow.
My look back said,
Are you thinking what I think you're thinking? Can we swing
it?
Her look said: Do
we have a choice? The dogs fit in it. Yes, we can do it.
To make a long story
short: I bought that used Envoy (with 17,800 miles on
it), trading in my disabled Honda Odyssey. We settled the paperwork,
hitched up the trailer, and now 13 hours behind schedule we took
off for Wisconsin, vowing never to see Brookhaven again!
That's when the
second thing happened. The first time I drove to West
Bend - two days in a rental truck - the map program took me up
I-55 to I-57. Unfortunately, that brought me into Downtown Chicago,
on I-94 (the Dan Ryan "Expressway"), which is being
re-built. You DON'T want to do that. I was advised by others
to take I-55 through St. Louis to I-39 in Illinois, which would
bring me to I-43 south of Madison. I thought that was a bit out
of my way, but I was assured it wasn't that much further - and
the mapping software said it was only 30 miles longer.
Liars.
According to my
new estimate, we should have gotten to West Bend at 1:30 AM Thursday.
Instead, driving the speed limit (65-70 MPH), we pulled in at
4:30 AM. On two turkey sandwiches each. (That was more
than the dogs got, but they were great.) The program was at least
150 miles off. And the moving van was supposed to be there at
7:00 AM.
We quickly walked
and put the dogs up, then collapsed into bed for a couple hours.
At 8:00 AM I awoke
with a start. Where was the moving truck? No truck!
We pulled out our
paperwork and called North American Van Lines (huge plug!). They
gave us the cell phone number of the driver. He was glad to hear
from us! He had been trying to call us, but he only had Barbara's
old cell number; he didn't have my new one. He was trying to
set up delivery on Friday, but a new job came up. Would Saturday
be all right?
You bet!
Saturday was the
day Sean was to fly back to Louisiana. He was nervous - he had
never flown by himself before. I knew that, so I routed him on
Continental Airlines through Houston - all small commuter jets,
so the gates were very close together.
So much for good
intentions.
The 8:00 AM Milwaukee-to-Houston
jet was delayed three hours. There was no way for him to make
his connection. So Continental booked him on another fight -
through Detroit. That was bad enough. Then, as his Detroit-to-New
Orleans plane was backing out of the terminal, the crew announced
that it had engine trouble and needed a replacement jet. He was
delayed again. He should have gotten to NOLA at 12:30 PM; he
finally got home at 8:30 PM.
At least all our
stuff got there. And everyone in Wisconsin - except one SOB of
a neighbor - had been wonderful friends for the four years we
lived there. While we now live in Florida, we look back fondly
on our time in Wisconsin.
And never seeing
Brookhaven, Mississippi again.
The End
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