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Story
I - An Uninterrupted Visit
(Author's Note:
In this Pride & Prejudice variation, Lydia does not
go to Brighton.)
Elizabeth had been
disappointed a good deal in not finding a letter from Jane on
their first arrival at Lambton. This disappointment had been
renewed on each of the following mornings that had now been spent
there, but on the third, her repining was over, and her sister
justified with the receipt of two letters from her at once. One
of the letters had been delayed by being delivered elsewhere
in error. Elizabeth was not surprised at it, as Jane had written
the direction remarkably ill.
They had just been
preparing to walk as the letters came in, and her uncle and aunt,
leaving her to enjoy them in quiet, set off by themselves. The
one misdirected must be first attended to, since it had been
written five days ago. The beginning contained an account of
all their little parties and engagements, with such news as the
country afforded, but the latter half, which was dated a day
later and written in evident agitation, gave more important intelligence.
"…Since
writing the above, dearest Lizzy, something has occurred of a
most unexpected and serious nature; but I am afraid of alarming
you-"
Mr. Darcy appeared
at that moment, announced by the maid. Elizabeth looked up in
surprise, her fist jammed against her mouth.
Her pale face and
impetuous manner made Darcy start, and before he could recover
himself enough to speak sensibly, he exclaimed with more feeling
than civility, "Good God! What is the matter?" Then,
recollecting himself, he continued. "Let me call your maid.
Is there nothing you could take to give you present relief? A
glass of wine-shall I get you one? You are very ill."
At that, Elizabeth
could no long restrain herself and let out a most unladylike
howl of laughter. Darcy, in wretched suspense, could only say
mutter his concern and observe her in compassionate silence as
tears of mirth rolled her pretty cheeks. After several moments
thus engaged, Elizabeth took pity on the poor man.
"I thank you
for your concern, Mr. Darcy, but let me assure you that I am
quite well. It is only that I have received some surprising news
from home."
Darcy sat down with
no little relief. "I trust your family is well?"
"They are,
I thank you, sir. My aunt and uncle are visiting the church,
and everyone at Longbourn is in excellent health. No - the news
is from Brighton. I would not spread gossip, but this is news
that I believe in which you would have some interest. It seems
Mrs. Forster - young Harriet Forster, wife of the unfortunate
colonel of the ----shire militia - was caught in a compromising
situation with a gentleman of our mutual acquaintance."
Elizabeth's eyes danced merrily.
Her companion sat
back, considering this disclosure. "Mutual acquaintance?
In Brighton? Oh!" Darcy's eyes lit in recognition. "You
don't mean to say…?"
Elizabeth laughed
again. "It seems Lt. Wickham is under arrest, facing several
charges, and his commanding officer is not of a mind to show
leniency!" She watched Darcy in expectation of his delightful
dimples, which surely would be in evidence given this inducement.
However, to her great surprise, Darcy's face fell. He stood and
walked to the window, hands behind his back. Elizabeth, taken
aback at this behavior, could only sit in intense curiosity.
Her conscience began to hurt - had she offended the man with
her amusement at the Forsters' expense?
She stood. "Mr.
Darcy, I must apologize-"
The gentleman raised
his hand. "No, Miss Elizabeth. You have nothing to apologize
for. The fault is mine."
Elizabeth was flabbergasted.
"You, sir?" she exclaimed.
Darcy kept his face
to the window. "Yes. If only I had revealed Wickham's true
character to the world, this sad turn of events would not have
happened."
"Mr. Darcy,
you take too much upon yourself!" The gentleman turned to
her as she continued. "I think the proper place for blame
must reside with the parties involved!"
"But…I
knew of Wickham's ways-"
"Indeed you
did, and I thank you most heartily that you trusted me with that
information. Because you put your trust in me, I was able to
convince my father not to allow my sister, Lydia, to accompany
the Fosters to Brighton." At his alarmed look, she added,
"Do not fear, Mr. Darcy. I said nothing of…of Ramsgate."
Darcy was silent
as Elizabeth began to pace the room. "We both know the kind
of man Mr. Wickham is. I have made the acquaintance of Mrs. Forster,
and a sillier girl has never been born. She married the colonel
for his money and status, so she was easy prey for the first
rake to cross her path. Had it not been Mr. Wickham, it would
have been someone else. She is a married woman; she must have
known what she was about.
"And her husband
- what of him? Taking for his bride a young, foolish child almost
half his age! What kind of wife could she be to him?" She
glanced at her companion, only to see him hide a grin. A picture
of Harriet Foster's pretty face and well-formed figure came into
her innocent mind, and in a flash, Elizabeth knew exactly what
had attracted the colonel. Realization of what she had said mortified
her, and she blushed red.
Darcy crossed to
her. "Do not distress yourself, Miss Elizabeth. I comprehend
your meaning."
Elizabeth hid her
face in her hands. "Oh, what must you think of me?"
Speaking very low,
Darcy responded, "Of all people, you know most certainly
what I think of you, and your defense of my actions - or inactions
- have only increased those feelings."
Elizabeth was confused.
Before coming to Pemberley, she was certain that Darcy despised
her for her stupid and intemperate words in Kent. But the gentleman's
kind and open friendliness to her and her relations at Pemberley
and Lambton had given rise to improbable hopes. Might he still
love her? What did his words mean? She looked at him, the question
plainly in her eyes.
Darcy seemed suddenly
to realize that they were alone in a closed room. "Miss
Bennet, might I tempt you to a stroll about the gardens of the
inn until your relations return?" Elizabeth agreed to the
scheme, and upon notifying the maid, the pair set off directly.
When they reached their destination, Darcy offered his arm to
the lady, who demurely took it.
Walking beside a
rosebush, Elizabeth said, "You have been very kind to my
aunt and uncle, sir."
"Say nothing
of that. While I enjoy meeting such excellent people as Mr. and
Mrs. Gardiner, my first thought was to take to heart a hard lesson
taught to me by a very kind lady and take the trouble of practicing
more the art of gentlemanly behavior."
"Oh!"
she cried, "pray do not repeat what I then said. I assure
you that I have long been most heartily ashamed of it."
Darcy looked at
her with a small, ironic smile. "What did you say of me
that I did not deserve? For, though your accusations were ill-founded,
formed on mistaken premises, my behavior to you at the time merited
the severest reproof. It was unpardonable. I cannot think of
it without abhorrence."
"We will not
quarrel for the greater share of blame annexed to that
evening," said Elizabeth, shaking her head. "The conduct
of neither of us, if strictly examined, would be irreproachable.
But since then, we have both, I hope, improved in civility."
"For you, I
will make no such claim. You have always treated me in a manner
that I most richly deserve, a service for which I thank you.
But I cannot be so easily reconciled to myself. The recollection
of what I then said - of my conduct, my manners, my expressions
during the whole of it - is now, and has been many months, inexpressibly
painful to me. Your reproof, so well applied! I shall never forget:
'Had you behaved in a more gentlemanlike manner.' Those were
your words. You know not, you can scarcely conceive, how they
have tortured me, though, it was some time, I confess, before
I was reasonable enough to allow their justice."
"I was certainly
very far from expecting them to make so strong an impression.
I had not the smallest idea of their being ever felt in such
a way."
"I can easily
believe it. You thought me then devoid of every proper feeling.
I am sure you did."
"Had
anyone had such thoughts in the past," she prevaricated,
"please know that they would be completely overthrown by
any causal study of your character. I can assure you that for
many months, I have considered you one of the most admirable
men of my acquaintance." Elizabeth stopped. She had not
planned to go so far, but after a moment, she added, "Sir,
you really should learn some of my philosophy. Think only of
the past as its remembrance gives you pleasure."
She chanced a look
at her companion and saw that her words had left their mark.
His dark eyes burned in a manner she had seen before in Hertfordshire
and Kent. Then, she thought he only looked upon her to find fault.
Now she knew better. A frisson of nervousness, anticipation,
and trepidation flowed through her body.
"I cannot give
you credit for any philosophy of the kind. Your retrospections
must be so totally void of reproach, that the contentment arising
from them is not of philosophy, but, what is much better, of
ignorance. But with me, it is not so. Painful recollections will
intrude, which cannot, which ought not, to be repelled. I have
been a selfish being all my life, in practice, though not in
principle. As a child, I was taught what was right; but I was
not taught to correct my temper. I was given good principles,
but left to follow them in pride and conceit. Unfortunately,
an only son (for many years an only child), I was spoilt by my
parents, who, though good themselves (my father particularly,
all that was benevolent and amiable), allowed, encouraged, almost
taught me to be selfish and overbearing - to care for none beyond
my own family circle, to think meanly of all the rest of the
world, to wish at least to think meanly of their sense and worth
compared with my own. Such I was, from eight to eight-and-twenty;
and such I might still have been but for you!"
Elizabeth thought
she would faint.
"What do I
not owe you! You taught me a lesson, hard indeed at first, but
most advantageous. By you I was properly humbled. You showed
me how insufficient were all my pretensions to please a woman
worthy of being pleased."
The couple stopped,
and in a low earnest tone, Mr. Darcy said, "You are too
generous to trifle with me. If your feelings are still what they
were last April, tell me so at once. My affections and wishes
are unchanged; but one word from you will silence me on this
subject for ever."
"Mr. Darcy…I-"
"But,"
he continued, "if you would give me one more, underserved
chance, I swear you will not be sorry for it. Allow me to court
you-properly, openly, as you deserve."
Elizabeth had not
known how much she wanted Mr. Darcy to renew his addresses until
she heard his words. She knew that there was no man on earth
that so suited her, in manner and disposition! If anyone could
make her happy, it was he, and she was sure she brought some
small level of joy into his life-
Jane! Her mind screamed that one issue unresolved
between them. Darcy seemed to see the confusion on her face,
for he spoke again.
"You are uncertain.
I am sorry to declare myself so forcefully, when you are unprepared.
Forgive my selfishness-"
"No, Mr. Darcy!
I…I must admit I receive the assurances of your continued
regard with nothing but pleasure, but we must have some conversation
before I answer you."
"Of course,
of course! Shall we sit down?" A bench suited their purposes,
one that offered some privacy, but was not too hidden to cause
scandal.
Elizabeth could
not look at her suitor. "Mr. Darcy, there are two issues
I must raise with you. One is the matter of my sister and your
friend."
"I expected
this conversation. I had already decided to speak to Bingley
as soon as practical about returning to Netherfield, where, I
hope, he may judge for himself the level of your sister's attachment."
At Elizabeth's perplexed look, he said, "I am done with
match-making and match-breaking. As I said before, disguise of
any sort is my abhorrence. You see how it has ill-served me.
Bingley must see to himself. Should Miss Bennet return his affections,
I will confess all to him."
"You are very
good, sir." Elizabeth then smiled impishly. "Of course,
Mr. Bingley's return to Hertfordshire suits your purposes, if
you intend to carry out your courtship of a certain lady there!"
At first, Elizabeth
thought she had gone too far, as Darcy's face blushed. But he
saw the twinkle in her eye and barked out a relived laugh. "I
suppose you are correct, as always, Miss Elizabeth!" Lizzy's
heart beat wildly at the sight of his dimples. Heavens! Had
he smiled like that at Netherfield, how things might be different!
"But, now for your second question."
"Sir,"
she hesitated. This argument was far weaker than it had been
only minutes before. How was it that Darcy could so overthrow
her thoughts? "Sir, please know I do receive your assurances
with pleasure-a great deal of pleasure. However, my character
demands that I be open with you. You should know that while there
has been a warming of my regard, I cannot say my feelings are
equal to yours."
Darcy sighed. "I
could not hope that they were. Thus, my intention to court you.
To give you time to know me and allow me the opportunity to convince
you to accept me."
"You are not
concerned?"
"Elizabeth,
I have loved you for a very long time. I can be patient if I
have hope."
Elizabeth's heart
turned over at Darcy's use of her name; his voice was a caress.
She knew she must answer him, but her innate fear of totally
surrendering to him was hard to overcome.
"Your name
is Fitzwilliam, I believe?" She hoped her answer would serve
for now. It did-his dimples made their reappearance as he nodded.
"Fitzwilliam, you may speak to my father."
"And your uncle
here in Lambton?"
Elizabeth laughed.
"I see you are most determined!"
Darcy took her hand.
"Have you just realized that? Do you not know I will do
whatever I must? Are you uncertain of me?"
"No,"
she breathed. "It is just…that this...is all so new
to me."
"For me, as
well." He kissed her hand. "Elizabeth?"
"Yes?"
"May I seal
our agreement with a kiss?"
Elizabeth grew lightheaded,
but she managed to say, "I believe, Fitzwilliam, it is a
requirement."
As his lips approached
hers, he whispered, "I believe you are right again, dearest,
loveliest Elizabeth!"
The End
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